Ready…Set…Go!

For two years, I have dug deep, I have pushed through, I have stepped out in faith and stepped up with renewed confidence, I have seen God at work in the little things and have stood in awe of His Greatness in the massive things.  I have been excited at the prospect of change and I have felt defeated by disappointments.  I have been brave and faced my insecurities and now I am ready to move…. I am hungry for some Promised Land living.  A reward maybe for facing the tough times successfully?  I am ready.  I am set.  But somehow, I don’t seem to be going….

I can relate to the Israelites.  They experienced God at work ten times before Pharaoh finally let them leave.  I’m sure that they were convinced of their departure when the water turned to blood, dealt with their disappointment bravely the first time Pharaoh reneged on his promise, maybe even the third and fourth time.  I’m sure that by the sixth and seventh time they were tired of the see-saw of hope and despair.  The morning after the Passover meal, it happened at last and they actually left that place of bondage with the spoil of Egypt’s finest and not long thereafter they witnessed the Almighty at work when the Red Sea swallowed up their enslavers.  So, with half a month’s journey ahead of them, they were ready to collect on God’s promise of milk and honey.  Ready. Set. But God had a different route in mind.  The long way around.

The Israelites’ water supply ran out just as they reached Mara.  After the first mouthful, God’s promise seemed much less likely to materialize.   The bitter water offered no relief for their parched throats and no refreshment from the wilderness and maybe the bitterness of the water reflected the bitterness of their hearts.  Bitterness for all the years they had been in bondage, for all the hurt, for all the suffering, for God taking so long to deliver them…so they complained, the Red Sea miracle already forgotten.  But God did then what He is still doing today. He provided, He proved Himself faithful and He performed a miracle to rid the water of bitterness and started to heal the bitterness in their hearts, removing the Egypt way of life from their daily experience and thinking, one day at a time.

Am I also stuck at Mara?  Could that be what is holding me back?  Is that why it feels like I’m hitting a wall every time I reach out expectantly, but then someone else gets the job or the recognition or make the progress?  Do I also need a miracle of the heart?  After all the delving and changing and forgiving and healing and growth I have experienced, what are the leftover things in my life that I still need emotional healing for?  What are the things I do, or don’t do, out of fear of failure or rejection?  What habits have I built and reinforced as a wall of self-protection? 

Those are hard questions.  I know the purpose God has for me, and I want to glorify Him in my everyday life, yet I have noticed that sometimes I don’t live a life of freedom.  If I stop for a second and take stock of how I live my life outside the safety of my family and close friends, I can see the enemy slivering into my thoughts trying to steal what God has already freely given to me in Jesus.  Maybe you can relate.  You know that conversation you don’t want to have, that event you don’t want to go to, that prayer you know you need to pray, that thing you are pushing back on or the person you are trying to avoid?  That behavior is evidence of the battles in your heart and the healing that you crave.

Trials and tribulations shape and form and changes us more and more into the image of Christ and after a journey of forgiveness and deeper understanding of who I am, I can confidently say I am a new and improved version of the woman God created me to be.  The journey has however just begun, because it takes time and practice to get used to a new way of living.   Deciding you want to be healthy doesn’t mean you are automatically fit if you don’t train consistently.  Being set free from the power of unforgiveness, does not mean you automatically trust again, because you’d need to be willing to take some risks.  Experiencing God as a loving Father that accepts you unconditionally, does not mean that you are not scared of situations where you may be criticized, so you’d need to learn bravery and accept that you will sometimes get it wrong. 

God knows this wilderness we are in.  He knows the challenges we are facing now and the ones that are coming up before we will reach the Promised Land.  In this journey we would have to be willing to persevere through the uphill battles and lean into God a little closer each time challenges pop up, allowing Him to be our Redeemer and Healer.  We need to let God step into our pasts and give us grace to root out, pull down and destroy the old habits and old thinking and build new ones so we can live life God’s way (Jer 1:10).

God says the battle is His, He will fight for us.  His wrap around presence empowers us for victory.  He has set us free so we can stand complete with the armor that He has provided as weapons of defense and weapons of attack.  He has deposited His mighty power in us and by stooping down low in gentleness, He strengthens us for what we are facing now and for what lies ahead (Ps 18).  And when the enemy comes like a flood, God promises that the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a Standard against him and send him fleeing, for He will come as our Redeemer (Is 59:19)

God has already given us, who accepted Christ as Savior, the Promised Land, a relationship with the Father.  God promised Joshua that they will possess every piece of land the soles of their feet tread on (Jos 1:3).  They had to walk on it, step into it, risk it.  They had to step into territory where they were going to face war and they needed to believe that He who has promised, is faithful and true to His word and that their promised inheritance is rightfully theirs.  They had to believe the victory has already been won.  And likewise, should we.

I think it is time for me to take another step of faith and face the challenges head on, with God by my side, and trust God to heal me completely from past hurts.  Trust God to give me a new heart that is sensitive and responsive to His healing touch (Ezek 11:19) so I can grow into a more intimate relationship with Him and experience Promised Land living right where I am and all the way to where He wants me to be. 

Ready. Set. Go!

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