Seasons change. It’s inevitable. It’s expected. It’s comforting in its predictability even when the summer is the hottest you remember or the winter harsher than usual. Rooted firmly in the soil the trees are equipped to grow even stronger amid tempestuous winds. Prairie grass reach deep into the soil for protection from the fire so that an abundance of bright green sprouts can press through the char in a display of colourful contrast. Swallows are designed to sense when to set out on perilous journeys covering vast distances and migrate bravely to warmer weather. The seasons’ changes are accepted as a necessary part of growth, and beauty and strength grow out of the occasional disaster. We can plan for winter and enjoy spring but being constantly immersed in the unexpected – that is truly hard.
As the seasons in my own life have changed from autumn, to winter, to spring and summer, I’ve been transformed more and more, I believe, into the woman God has made me to be. I have learned to trust God through tempestuous winds and threatening fires and to lean on the people God has placed in my life for support in covering the distance my journey would take. However, the past year with its persistent onslaught of instability and the inability to make plans or control outcomes, have left me feeling ill-equipped, overwhelmed, and insufficient and I started to doubt my capacity to cope with it all. Anxiety crept into my heart, leaning heavily on my chest, and constricting my throat as I found myself failing interchangeably as either wife, mother, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, employee, mentor, or any combination thereof.
Maybe you’ve been struggling to cope with the unpredictability of life too. Maybe you’ve been crippled with fear over what the future might hold, maybe you’ve been distressed at the prospect of not seeing a loved one again, or you’ve agonized over potentially cancelling plans or how far your finances would reach. Maybe your anxiety is about your current situation and it feels like your circumstances and responsibilities are constricting you, like a tightening rope pulling fish slowly into a fisherman’s net, and you don’t know what to let go of given that so many things must be done. Maybe your nervousness is around things of the past, threatening to revisit, or the impact someone else’s trials has on you. Maybe like me, your mind’s been pulled apart by thoughts contending for attention – so many unknowns, so many roles to fulfil, so many demands to meet – and then worry and anxiety set in.
It makes sense to feel worried when there is so much uncertainty to deal with. We worry because the people in our lives matter, making commitments and following through on them matter, and protecting ourselves and our families from pain and suffering matters. We are dealing with real stresses that comes with the worldly territory we find ourselves. We are also flesh designed by our Creator to respond and react in a way that will keep us safe, but still Jesus says not to worry, to not be seized with alarm and struck with fear (Luke 12), to not let our hearts be troubled, distressed or agitated (John 14:1), because even though we feel the onslaughts of the world in our bodies, we have access to the Father Who strengthens us (Eph. 6:10). Through Jesus Christ we can have a relationship with the Father and as we turn our eyes toward Him, as we trust in and rely on Him for every aspect of our lives (John 14:1), the power of the Holy Spirit will also work in us and through us to bring change and impact the world around us.
Jesus said in this world we will have trouble, but reminds us to consider the bigger picture, because He has overcome the world (John 16:33). When Jesus says not to worry about necessities, He also shows the way to God our Provider to Whom we are worth so much more than the birds in the air and the lilies in the field He cares for (Matt. 6:26-27). When the Word says to not be anxious about anything, it also says to make our every need known to the Father by prayer and petition with thanksgiving and He will let the peace of God reign in our hearts and minds (Phil. 4:7). When we don’t know which way to turn, God says to entrust our plans to Him so that He can establish our paths and direct our steps (Prov. 16:3,9). When circumstances start to overwhelm us, He urges us to confidently draw near to His throne of grace where we will find mercy for our shortcomings and well-timed helped just when we need it (Heb. 4:16).
During this past year, I have had to learn to trust God for much more than I had before. I have had to lay down my plans at Jesus’ feet, hope that He’d intervene in the circumstances and make a way, but if He doesn’t, trust the Lord for the work He is doing in my life instead and that it’d be used to positively impact the world around me. I’ve had to learn to be patient with the process of increasingly trusting God and to turn to Him as my Counsellor when worry wriggles its way into my heart. I have had to lean on friends and family for fellowship and encouragement to still go for a run even when I didn’t feel like it. I have had to consciously redirect my attention away from intrusive worries to our Unchanging, Everlasting, Faithful Father. I have had to humbly admit my shortcomings and submit to the Lord’s growing process and I have had to choose to spend time with Jesus and dwell in His Presence.
In this trusting process, I’ve experienced the safety of God’s Presence in the babbling water as it flowed along the riverbanks. I’ve seen His provision in a R20 hidden in a musty, old Bible the kids unwittingly selected from the shelf, in a utility bill that has already been paid and in an abundance of food left over. I’ve been blessed with His wisdom in the quiet of an early morning run and in an encouraging word or thoughtful prayer of a friend. I’ve found His deliverance in the lightness in my chest and unexpected joy that filled my heart. I’ve savoured the feelings of my deepened trust in the Lord as I discovered how God made a way, moved a mountain, forged a path, or proved that His scenario is even better than the best-case scenario of a professional. I have found the transcending peace of God as I’ve surrendered my ways, my plans, and my needs to discover God’s provision, His love, His care, and His faithfulness instead.
So, let us not allow our hearts to be choked by thorns of worry (Luke 8), but rather let it guide us toward our Father, Who loves us through every impending ill, every uncertain situation and every overwhelming circumstance. Let us turn to the Sower Who patiently tends the soil of our hearts through every season’s change to produce His fruit in abundance. May God fill us with His perfect peace in this trusting process, may the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround our lives with His richness (Rom. 15:13) and may we be able to testify that the Lord’s Presence has gone before us and that He gives us rest (Ex. 33:14).
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