Dr Brene Brown said that sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is to show up. We need courage to be vulnerable – to show up and be seen, flaws and all, when we have no control over the outcome. The most vulnerable I’ve ever felt, was when I had to face my close friends and family feeling insecure about all of what I thought made me, me – wife, mother, daughter… If I show up stripped of any pretense and defense, would I be judged? Would I find acceptance regardless of my blemishes and blunders and scars? Would I be loved unconditionally amidst everything I’m not? I knew that God loved me like that, because Jesus embodied love showing grace when met with imperfections, but will the people here on earth do the same for me?
Jesus loved the uneducated fishermen, undeserving to learn from a rabbi, condemned sinners, labelled unworthy to live among the acquitted. He loved the sick, the needy and the poor and captivated the hearts of every person He met. A tax collector and thief climbed into a tree in the hope of catching a glimpse of Jesus. He probably didn’t count himself worthy to cut through the throngs to get closer to Jesus, but Jesus noticed him anyway. As He joined Zaccheus for dinner, his heart changed, he repented and his behavior changed. The woman caught in adultery was saved because Jesus opened her accusers’ eyes to their own sins and extended grace. He didn’t condemn her, instead He accepted her, loved her and urged her to make better choices. Even a Pharisee that followed the letter of the law realized he was missing the mark. Slowly but surely, being in the presence of the Son of God, his heart changed and somewhere late at night his heart yearned to be born again.
It was as if Jesus held up a mirror to them, and when they were horrified at their reflections and ashamed, they looked at Jesus and saw His eyes filled with grace. Jesus could look through the messy outside into their souls and see the person that He created. After three years of walking on earth displaying unwavering love, unrestrained affection, unconditional acceptance and unending forgiveness1, He paid the penalty for the offenses of every single person that ever walked on the earth and every single person that was still going to walk on the earth. He died on the cross for all of them, for all of us, for me. He broke the power of sin and death and He rose from the grave and because He lives, I can live. In freedom. And do the same as Him. Love others as Jesus loves me – unconditionally. And forgive others as Jesus forgives me – completely. Bestowing grace and being a blessing to others.
Paul wrote to the church in Galatia: “If any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are responsive to and controlled by the Holy Spirit, should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness, keeping an attentive eye on yourself, lest you should be tempted also. Carry one another’s burdens and troublesome moral faults, and in this way, fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ…for if any person thinks of himself to be somebody too important to shoulder the load when he is nobody of superiority (except in his own estimation}, he deceives himself” (Gal 6:1-3 AMPC)
Maybe I have been deceiving myself for quite some time. I have not been able to forgive some people that hurt me deeply. I wanted to forgive them, I really tried to because God says to love even my enemies and pray for them (Mat 5:44), He says to forgive the reckless sins and the willful sins (Mat 6:14), to let it drop so that my Father in Heaven may also forgive me my shortcomings (Mark 11:25), but every time I saw them or expected to see them, I felt bitterness and indignation surfacing and I knew I haven’t been able to let it go. In my mind I imprisoned them, judging them, while the only thing I achieved was to let my attitude toward them control me. My unforgiveness imprisoned me instead and restricted my ability to live freely, but I struggled to find compassion to truly forgive them from my heart (Mat 18:35) and set them free.
And then I read about comparative righteousness…the righteousness you endow yourself with, because you are better – or just less bad – than someone else. I’m righteous because I’m innocent of that particularly horrible sin someone else committed. What flawed thinking! Thinking that my sins aren’t as weighty as theirs. I’m no better. Maybe I’m worse. In the mirror of God’s standard, I was missing the mark as well and my pride gave way to humility, my judgement gave way to mercy and my hard heart softened to feel compassion. Compassion to see the person that hurt me deeply as someone with flaws, hurts and a longing for love and grace, just like me. So, I forgive you – you that betrayed me. I forgive you – you that judged. And I forgive you – you who deceived me. I forgive you for the hurt you caused, I forgive you for not being authentic, I forgive you for not being compassionate, I forgive you for dealing treacherously, I forgive you…I forgive you…I forgive you. And I’m sorry, Lord, that I thought I was better.
I’ve come to realize that the faults I find hardest to deal with in others, are the ones that I have too. No wonder Jesus told His followers to first remove the plank in their own eyes before they try to remove the speck in somebody else’s (Mat 7:5). Paul also reminds us to “scrutinize and examine and test our own conduct so we can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable without resorting to boastful comparison, for every person will have to bear his own little load of oppressive faults” (Gal 6:5-6 AMPC).
We are all in need of grace – undeserved, unmerited and unearned favor. So, I will endeavor to be honest about being hurt or annoyed or frustrated or angry with someone I love, and keep on loving them anyway. I want to love and accept others as uniquely created, wonderfully made human beings, designed by the Almighty God even if their lives don’t reflect that yet. I want to see others with Jesus’ eyes so I can see what He sees. I want to wear a huge welcome sign on my life and see the beauty God created in every single person I pass by. I want Jesus’ love in me, to draw others to the One who loves them the most. I want to love others like Jesus loves me and be a blessing.
“So then, as occasion and opportunity open up to us, let us do good to all people, not only being useful of profitable to them, but also doing what is for their spiritual good and advantage. Be mindful to be a blessing.” (Gal 6:10)
[Collage created using Pinterest images]
1Jeannie Cunnion: GRACE: God’s unwavering love, unrestrained affection, unconditional acceptance and unending forgiveness. All mine, all yours in Christ.
