The dim light of the candles flickered against the walls of the beautified, old-fashioned auditorium. The soft light, the background music and the décor painted a picture of divine breakthrough, but my heart was flooded with despair and despondence instead, mirroring the dilapidated building more closely than my hopeful surroundings. Someone started talking and I felt inspired, another woman gave her testimony and I felt hope tugging at my heart, but when the worship started, I saw things in a different light. Moments ago, my thoughts were still clouded with fear of what might be, but now it was flooded with clarity of what would be. It was not what I had hoped, so there was only one thing I could to do – lay it down at the cross…and trust that God would provide.
I remember the first time I felt like this. I feared being in the scary grade two teacher’s class, but when I prayed about it, I knew I would be there – and that it would be all right. Many years later, in the Sunday morning worship, the words of the song seemed to have a different ring to it. I became aware that the lyrics I sang needed to be more than mere words. It needed to be a declaration, a promise, a commitment, from me to God. A commitment to keep my eyes on Jesus, regardless of the circumstances, amidst the wind and waves. There where my feet may fail, I must look to Jesus and not my circumstances. Not only did I commit to do just that, I went one step further… “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me…”. Wherever. What a big statement!
The next morning, my commitment was tested and amidst the shock, the disbelief and the pain, I had a sense of being contained, like I was not alone in it, like God prepared me for it, a sort of peace. Shalom. Peace regardless of the chaos and confusion. Peace that only God can give because of His unfathomable love for me, because He has a plan and a purpose for me. Peace which God offered when He sent His Only Son to stand in the gap for me and pay for my sins on the cross. Peace because I choose to lean with my entire being on God in Christ in absolute trust and confidence in His power, His wisdom and His goodness (2 Tim 3:15) even when it hurts.
Laying my burden down at the cross, trusting Jesus with it that night, I felt lighter, but the untraversed path was still lying ahead. Just like the Israelites had to walk through the desert, Elijah through the drought and David through the valley of the shadow of death, I still had to go through this and trust God for the destination. But the journey through this arid landscape is wrought with opportunities for the enemy to attack – to sow doubt, to complicate and to confuse – making the walk so much harder than the initial choice. The trusting is therefore in the walking, trusting God in every step, through every challenge and through every obstacle.
We therefore need the right shoes for the journey. Shoes that will help keep our focus on Jesus Christ, our Savior. Shoes of the gospel of Peace. Shoes of Peace like the Roman soldiers wore. Shoes with hobnails fitted to the soles which enabled them to walk across various challenging terrains unscathed. I have this image in my mind of Trust being the hobnails which press deep into the soil, defying the impenetrable ground, crushing the enemy by continuing to move forward into the destiny God prepared for me. Trust in God to protect me, to guide me and to guard me wherever I go.
We have a Good Father Who loves us more than we could ever comprehend and all He wants is for us to draw near to Him, to pull close and to find comfort in His embrace. He says that He is beside us, before us, behind us, in us… The Israelites weren’t alone in the desert, Elijah wasn’t alone in the drought, and David wasn’t alone in the valley and neither are we, regardless of the circumstances. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, God is always close by, closer than our breaths, always alongside us. Always providing.
Paul wrote to the Philippians to continually ask God what they want, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving. And then, he says, God’s peace shall be theirs (Phil 4:6). If we keep our eyes on Jesus, we will be able to see how He’s guided and provided for us along the way, thank Him for it and trust Him for the next step. When Jesus fed the 5000, He took the loaves and fish that would not have been enough, thanked God as if it was enough and then had twelve baskets left over. What seemed too little, was in fact a lot in God’s hands. God’s provision is always more than enough to sustain us in the journey ahead. Thanking Him, fuels our trust in Him, which then fuels our peace…which makes us want to thank Him all over again.
My prayer is that God, through Christ, through your faith, will make His permanent home in your hearts! That you will be rooted deep in love and founded securely on His love, that you may have the ability to grasp and experience with all God’s devoted people, what the breadth and length and height and depth of His love is. That you may experience the richest measure of His Divine Presence, and become somebody wholly filled and flooded with God Himself! (Eph 3:17-21) I pray that you will know God’s peace – that peace, which transcends all understanding and that it will mount guard over you hearts and minds (Phil 4:6-7). I pray that you will be able to embrace the winds of life and through God’s grace, spread your wings and soar like eagles! (Is 40:31)
[Reference made to songs by Hillsong United: Oceans and Bethel Music: Come to Me]
[Collage created using Pinterest images]
