In his prize-winning novel, Ernest Hemingway transported me into a boat being tossed about in unforgiving waters where an old man desperately holds onto an adversary hooked on his fishing line. The marlin threatens to drag the skiff into the depths of the stormy seas as the fishing line starts to cut into the flesh of the haggard old man. Desperate for his own survival he continues to wage war and with a thrust of his blade it seems like victory would be his, but the demise of the foe is not the triumph of the fisherman. And while the bare carcass reels in awestruck whispers from fellow fishermen, the wearied old man goes home, depleted and famished.
I wonder how many of us can tell a similar story of an adversary that has damaged our boats and cut into our flesh, one we have fought with all our strength, but though we have the sympathy of many others, we still find ourselves lacking, emptied, spent. What would the old man have lost if he let the marlin go? Would unscarred hands have deprived him of affirmations he craved, the respect he sought? And how can I ask a starving man to let go of the sustenance he desperately needs? Maybe only because in hindsight it is clear what massive price he’d paid, and now I dare ask what he could’ve gained had he let it go instead.
In Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus narrates the story of the servant who grabbed onto the king’s mercy with all his might but would not extend it to another. The king then became outraged and delivered the unforgiving servant to the torturers – bill collectors – until he too could repay his own much larger debt. His hard-heartedness resulted in emotional, mental and physical turmoil which entangled him, robbing him of the freedom that he’d just been given. But Jesus, knowing the extremes He would go to in order to release us from the debts we owe to God, opens the door and shows the way out of this emotional bondage – to choose to forgive, like God through Christ chose to forgive you and me.
To forgive like Jesus, we must choose to walk out on the pier into some stormy waters and open our hearts to face the wounds inside. Who hurt you the most? Is it someone you have cut out of your life? Or is it the person you love the most today? What did they do? How did it make you feel? What is the impact of the inflicted wounds on your life? Have you closed your heart and are your feelings hidden away from the world? Maybe you don’t recognize what you’re feeling anymore. Maybe you don’t trust others’ good intent, or you continually misread between the lines. If this is true, ask God to help you open your heart, face the tidal waves, acknowledge your broken parts, fix your eyes on Jesus and entrust every feeling, every hurt, to God Who draws near to the broken hearted, Who bears our burdens and give rest.
Jesus forgave us while we were still sinners. His heart filled with compassion for the broken, the imperfect, the rejected, the sinners. Only the Holy Spirit could fill our hearts with compassion for those who hurt us. Only He can help us to become tender-hearted and to love others, to offer kindness and grant undeserved forgiveness. When our eyes are opened to see others’, and even ourselves, through the lens of Christ and if we walk a few feet in their shoes, God will enable us to release every person for every wound they’ve inflicted. When we choose to let go of the fishing line and release the adversary that robbed us of our own freedom, it opens the way for Jesus to come into the broken places in our hearts and cover it and heal all of it, with His love.
Why is it so hard to forgive? Maybe because we have a desire for justice to be done. Maybe we want the other person to feel the consequences of the pain they’ve caused. We hope that the marlin in our lives feel the sting of the hook in his mouth and the burden of pulling a skiff across the ocean. If that is you, remember that while God is a God of boundless mercy, He is also a God of justice. He says that vengeance is His, He will repay. He says He uses trials and tribulation to build our characters and to transform us into the image of His Son. Do you believe that He will do what He promised? Do you believe that He fits everything into a purpose for those who love Him? Will you leave your desire for justice in the hand of the One Who judges fairly and obey Him even in this, so that He can mend the fractures and mould you into a vessel that will fulfil His purpose through you?
Or maybe it is hard to forgive because the offense continues, and you don’t see a way out. How do you forgive someone if you know they will do the exact same thing again? We hope that forgiveness absolves us of the responsibility to set boundaries and make uncomfortable changes. It doesn’t. Forgiveness breaks the power the offense has over you, but you may still need to make some hard decisions, put some strong boundaries in place, and have some tough conversations. Forgiveness doesn’t ask you to pretend that you didn’t suffer damage, nor to remain the victim. Instead it lets someone off the hook despite the damage they caused so that God can transform your mind, open your eyes to something new and break the chains that held you back.
God’s grace toward us is undeserved, His grace undeniable and His love unfathomable. Jesus told Peter to forgive, not seven times, but seventy times seven. He says that God desires mercy, a readiness to help, to spare and to forgive, rather than sacrifice (Matt 12:7). Paul appeals to the Colossians to forgive like Christ forgave us – readily and freely (Col 3:13). I think forgiveness is hard because it means giving up my right to be offended and letting go of resentment. It may be one of the ultimate examples of being a living sacrifice. Letting go of my will so that God’s will may be done instead. To live like Jesus.
We are not our own. We have been bought with a price, one of great sacrifice. God sent Jesus because of the great and intense love He has for us, a love we do not deserve. The marlin that you’re holding onto, is causing more damage to you, than you are to it. God’s heart is that we do His will and keep His commandments that it may be well with us, forever (Deut 5:29). Let the marlin go, release your foe, let the Holy Spirit restore your boat, then get back into the water, cast your nets where Jesus directs, and discover how He provides for you abundantly.
[Collage created using Pinterest images]
